You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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