Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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