as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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