officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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