Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
How's work?
Spinning.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
