we need to drink 2009 down the drain
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
