3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
