but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
