At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
