I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
