Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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