i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
