he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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