My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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