I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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