shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
