He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
