If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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