I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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