i wish my penis had a tongue
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
