I'm lost and stupid without you.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
