Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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