How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
