I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
