how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
