Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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