We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
