I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
