Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
