The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
