omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
