I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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