Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
