I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
