Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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