she takes plan B like it's going out of style
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
