Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
