yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
