She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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