I wanna bring you to show and tell
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I want a musical about memes.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
