I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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