In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
