You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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