you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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