I just cut my nipple shaving
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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