Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
