But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
