I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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