That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just want to make out with him forever
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
