Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
